Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
