Whod you bang
You're completely useless in the revolution.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
