Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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