I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
