What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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