Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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