His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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