I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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