So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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