we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
the raccoons are back...
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