shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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