the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
