this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
