Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
