I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Someone came in the potted fern
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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