I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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