He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
