Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It's rum buckets o'clock
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
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