If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
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