ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
