eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
