I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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