My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
