FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
