i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
