we have pet lesbian snakes
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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