I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
