the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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