it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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