Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
