On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
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