He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
