ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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