Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
love makes seman taste better
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
