gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
