the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
