One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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