so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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