Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
