Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
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It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
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I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
And then my night got REAL pukey
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