put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
