awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
