sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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