i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
