Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
My ATM looks so different sober.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
