You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I think I am morally bankrupt
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
