Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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