he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
