so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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