yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
