Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
