i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
