dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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