; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
