if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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