For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
