my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize