So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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