you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
