I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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