Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Your penis caused this!
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
