I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
