if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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